Written by Dungeekin

Wednesday, 15 April 2009

Metropolitan Police Commissioner Sir Paul Stephenson has called for a review of tactics in the wake of the protests at the G20 summit.

The Met has hired former Chelsea coach Jose Mourinho as a Special Adviser, to help them tighten up the areas identified as failings following their narrow win in the match with Protesta Anticapitalista on 1 April.

Sir Paul said, "while the overall performance was good, we can see there are some areas that require improvement. We believe 'The Special One' can improve our attacking force, especially right at the front in the face of the opposition".

He added, "Mourinho's review will focus on speeding up the Police attack, ensuring that the motivated forwards get in early, hard and fast with their batons. We've obviously got a couple of star hitters in our formation already, but we need more speed and more commitment to see more of the spectacular own goals the Met has managed to score with these protests".

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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