G20 Death: IPCC to hold Independent Inquiry

Funny story written by Dungeekin

Thursday, 9 April 2009

The Independent Police Complaints Commission are to hold an independent inquiry into the independent actions of an independent police officer which may have been linked to the tragic death of Ian Tomlinson.

Mister Tomlinson died in the street on April 1 during a G20 protest, shortly after being clubbed to the ground from behind by a Metropolitan Police Officer. Footage of the attack on Mr Tomlinson has been published by the Guardian.

Independent Police Complaints Commission spokesman Ian Dependence, speaking at a press conference this afternoon, said, "we have independently decided to launch an independent inquiry into these events. We will independently interview the officers involved - assuming that we can independently find out who they are. We will make independent enquiries into the circumstances that led to Mister Tomlinson's untimely and tragic death. An independent autopsy will independently establish the extent that police actions were involved in the fatality. We will be very thorough and independent".

Mr Dependence added, "once our independent investigations are fully complete, we will of course compile and publish a full report - which will say exactly what Jacqui Smith and Paul Stephenson want it to say".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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