Deadline, Llandriddmonsoonartilleydivision, Mid Glamorgan - World renowned matchstick model maker, Blodwyn Sheepskin, of Cwmdancin Farm, expired this morning as he attempted his most ambitious project to date.
Having constructed small scale models of local churches, inns, and sailing ships, Mr Sheepskin, upon his retirement as a sheep whisperer, elected to construct a 1:1 scale, lifesized recreation of the Empire State Building.
His widow, Mrs (as was) Annie Onesforhalfastella, told us:
"Took him nigh on thirty year it did. We was havin' a party for the grandchildren like and he was wearing a gorilla suit, for a laugh like. And he had himself a drop of the old vino collapso, when he decides he's gonna top it out, for the kids like.
"So off he goes with his last box of matches and a tube of PVA glue, to put up the finishing touches like. He gets to the top, and he gets shot by a missile, from an RAF Harrier on manoeuvres.
"He fell 1,200 feet to his death as a result of his injuries. But how the kiddies cheered. And I wasn't all that bothered either to be honest. He was a right pain in the arse with his matchstick models. The old sheep worrying freak.
"And then there's the life insurance, and the profit from suing the MOD. Seems they thought he was a terrorist. Piss artist is nearer the mark. Is'nit?"
More as we get it