Written by Skoob1999

Monday, 23 March 2009

image for Why Isn't Roy Turse In Top 20? Bribes Apparently Rejected
Guilty!!! - Oh You'll Swing For This Right Enough

Dateline, London, GMT,

An angry exchange occurred today when Spoof.com so-called 'writer' Skoob1999 challenged thespoof.com heirarchy as to why Roy Turse and son, pioneers and leading lights of legendary pirate story 'Below Decks', and probably the finest double act to hit the comedy circuit since Cannon and Ball, weren't listed in the jocular web site's top twenty writers.

The official response was:

"Perhaps they've been inactive of late. In which case me and my brother can only recommend that they pound the keyboard more often. It's the best way to make the top twenty."

To which Skoob1999, a habitual drunkard, time waster, and all round pain in the butt replied:

"Frankly chaps, this isn't playing the game. I offered to pay you a week's supply of potato pies, seven cans of mushy peas, three black puddings, and a leg of lamb complete with a Leeds United tattoo, to put Roy back up in the top twenty in recognition of his sterling efforts on the pirate story 'Below Decks"

"We do not accept bribes," the brothers stated. "That would be unethical. We attempt only to reflect the general feeling of Spoofers in general, and to publish, in good faith, the whims of our contributors. Providing that they do not transcend the boundaries of acceptability."

For example:

This story is not a proper news story.

Captain Morse is expected to issue a statement this morning stating that fellow crew members, the Turse coalition have been harshly treated and should be reinstated in the top ten at once.

"Beyond our control," the administrators announced.

The case proceeds. In a courtroom. With a judge wearing a funny comedy wig.

More when/if we get relegated to the magazine section.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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