Belgian terrorist targets Pope and Paisley

Funny story written by Albanach

Wednesday, 23 June 2004

Famous Belgian anarchist and custard pie-thrower, Noel Godin, has vowed to target the Pope AND Ian Paisley if the suggested second visit by the Pope to Northern Ireland goes ahead. The Pope has been a long-term target for Godin whose organisation humiliated Bill Gates - among others - with a well-placed custard pie in the kisser in full view of the world's press. Godin claims the Pope is a serial killer because of his opposition to condoms as the world is ravaged by Aids.

Godin proclaims himself a terrorist, but eschews violence in favour of the public custard pie. "Killing them only makes martyrs out of them, indeed, some of them actually crave it. What they can't stand is public humiliation - that's where I come in."
Okay, so we know about the Pope, but why Paisley? Godin explains "Here we have a serial killer planning to visit Northern Ireland; a man who plays power politics with the most wretched people in the world as pawns; a man whose organisation has burned people for daring to suggest that the world is round and that it orbits the sun; whose priests have molested children by the thousand; whose nuns have mistreated children and elderly people - and what is Paisley banging on about? The Antichrist; the whore of Babylon; blasphemous idolaters; saint-worshippers - what a lot of merde! With a bit of luck, we'll get both of these fart-eaters during the Northern Ireland visit."

All things considered, it should be an interesting visit, and Godin is likely to cause a world custard shortage if he wants to get round all the hypocrites in Northern Ireland politics and religion.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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