British Foreign Sec'y Lady Mildred Bland Kept Torture Under Her Covers with MI5

Funny story written by Pointer

Monday, 16 February 2009

image for British Foreign Sec'y Lady Mildred Bland Kept Torture Under Her Covers with MI5
Prison Camp Chef Tasteless Mush to be tried for crimes against the palate

A vicious terrorist suspect finally fell into the hands of Western security forces. Rather than have another 9-11 or the numerous other radical attacks in London, Paris or other western capitals, Lady Mildred Bland agreed to torture the captives. The goal was the extraction of crucial information to save countless innocent lives.

Lady Bland's regimen of torture consisted of feeding the prisoners only English cuisine. Bland explained this inhumanity: "These blokes are used to all that highly spiced dishes favored by the Pakis, the Sooties and Golliwogs. We'll give 'em the blandest ('scuse the pun) food in the world...that'll make 'em squeal!"

Bland admits that she participated in a cover-up of this barbarous tactic:" It was an easy trick to pull. We hid it in plain sight. When the UK public saw the prison menu they didn't notice a thing. After all, they eat this cruel cuisine daily..."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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