Balls in Honesty Shocker

Funny story written by Dungeekin

Tuesday, 10 February 2009

Downing Street has sought to downplay remarks made by (soon-to-be-ex) Cabinet Minister Ed 'Blinky' Balls, in which he allegedly said something honest.

Mr Balls, a former economic adviser to Gordon Brown (which says a great deal) and Brown's current favoured sphincter-licker, was speaking at Labour's Yorkshire conference when the remarks were made.

According to the Yorkshire Post, Mr Balls said, "we are now seeing the realities of New Labour, though at a speed, pace and ferocity which none of us have seen before. The reality is that this is becoming the worst Government for, I'm sure, over 100 years as it will turn out".

Downing Street have attempted to play down the significance of his remarks, insisting he had been pointing out the unique nature of the current crap Government and was not predicting that the impact on ordinary people would be worse than that experienced during the Winter of Discontent in the '70s.

But Opposition Leader David Cameron pounced on the remarks, saying, "this just shows how bad the Government have become, when even they have no clear message about their own incompetence. Is Ed Balls spilling the beans here and telling us that the government see themselves as slightly more useless than they have tried to portray?"

Speaking via seance, former Labour Prime Minister James Callaghan welcomed the comments, adding 'I always knew Gordon could do it. I'm proud of the lad. It takes a lot of effort to screw a country up - God knows I know how hard it is - and he's done a better job than even I managed. I look forward to his 'no-confidence' vote in due course".

We contacted Mr Balls for clarification of his remarks, but he simply responded, "so what?".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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