The Test Card is Back

Funny story written by IainB

Wednesday, 7 January 2009

image for The Test Card is Back
Bubbles suffered more than Carol, and was last seen in rehab

The BBC, often regarded as one of the most forward thinking broadcasters in the world is taken a massive leap backwards by re-introducing the test card.

The Test Card, familiar to British Children of the sixties and seventies, was the image burned on to TV sets whilst waiting for the cartoons to begin on BBC2. It was broadcast instead of programmes before the age of twenty-four hour TV, and consisted of a blonde girl called Carol playing noughts and crosses with her toy clown Bubbles. Judging by the opening positions of the noughts and crosses, it looked like Bubbles was in a strong position for winning.

In the new digital age there are too many channels for the corporation to provide programming for over a full day, and digital viewers will be used to the red screen indicating when programming restarts across the BBC's less used channels. For HDTV this was determined not good enough by the BBC and in a moment of nostalgia, they resurrected the test card.

Carol Hersee was eight years old when her father took the iconic image, and is now fifty-six.

"I'm flabbergasted that they still have it," said Carol upon hearing the news. "And a bit annoyed. I never got any royalties from that image, despite it making me a household celebrity. More people recognise me than recognise Paris Hilton! I stupidly sold the royalties when I was eighteen back to the BBC for a hundred quid."

Carol was on TV for over 70,000 hours (eight years), but despite being on TV for more than any other person, she was disallowed entry into the Guinness Book of Records because nobody else can break the record.

"Duh, first man on the moon, anybody?" said Carol.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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