Today a ginger man from London was exposed as a fraud by a quick witted news editor. Dan Bellamy (41) from Cakeminster, West London had been misleading colleagues for years by telling them that the great French philosopher and essayist Voltaire (François-Marie Arouet) was his great, great, great, great, great Grandfather.
Throughout the last decade, Bellamy is rumoured to have bedded many ladies and a good few men after having reputedly regaled them with tales of his illustrious ancestor.
"He fascinated me with his beautiful stories", said gaunt but attractive colleague Magda Wallmont, "and would recite lines from Voltaire while we made love. I can't believe he was lying. It's not like me to be taken in by a man."
Other co-workers noted how Bellamy used to enhance his faux french image by wearing a cravate or, more often, a particularly tasteless jumper.
But it all came to a head today when Jason Saber, an undercover journalist for a German media company, challenged Bellamy on this supposed relation. Saber (60) quoted the popular site Wikipedia to a reddening Bellamy in front of over eight staff. "It clearly states here," accused Saber (also of London) "that Voltaire did not ever have any offspring". Bellamy immediately backed down, consoling himself with a packet of maltesers and a heartfelt apology.
