Ruth Kelly to open to the public

Funny story written by Steddyeddy

Thursday, 25 September 2008

image for Ruth Kelly to open to the public
The security measures that will be in place when Ruth Kelly is open

Now that she is retiring from Secretary of State life, Ruth Kelly, the Secretary of State, has decided to open to the public as a means of generating the income lost through not being a Secretary of State any longer

She said: "Many people have said to me that the country can't afford to allow an institution such as myself, Ruth Kelly, to go into decline following my soon-to-be not a Secretary of State any more.

"Therefore, I have decided to open myself to the public from Monday to Friday, 9am to 5pm. Saturday I've decided to take off so I can visit other British sites of special interest, such as Aldi and Poundstretcher, and of course, because of my beliefs, as a member of Open Days, I will be completely closed on Sundays, even though the licensing laws have become less stringent over the years.

"When people come to see me open, I'm afraid no drink or food will be allowed, and certainly no smoking, although I don't really mind too much if people do smoke when I'm closed."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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