Kent Chief Constable airs views about people behind bars

Funny story written by Steddyeddy

Thursday, 4 September 2008

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The Chief Constable of Kent, Nick Scroats, has received an answer from the Secretary of State for Justice to his concerns over the number of people behind bars.

The Rt Hon Jack Straw MP has replied to those concerns at a press conference held earlier today. He said:

"With the binge drinking culture amongst younger people in the UK today, it is more important than ever that we have the right people behind bars.

"These people must be fully trained bartenders, able to serve as many people as much drink as they can keep down until they leave the pub and get sick in the streets.

"They also have a duty to be able to prepare the cocktails these young drinkers require - the Slamdunks, the Brainpoppers and even the odd Bloody Mary. Plus of course the usual pints of Heavy, Stella and Guinness.

"I can confirm that as long as these people want to get uncontrollably drunk, spending all their money and contributing to the tax take of the Chancellor, I will make it my prime task to ensure there are enough people behind bars to serve them."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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