Jade Goody Reveals Cancer Scares Are Killing Her

Funny story written by carina-eta

Thursday, 21 August 2008


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Jade Demonstrates Cervical Pessary

Fat lipped trout Jade Goody has spoken exclusively about the cancer scares that are killing her. Jade has been the victim of 14 cancer scares over the past few years, since she got famous, and has revealed that doctors say another one could kill her.

Jade reveals,"My first cancer scare happened in the kitchen after Big Brother. I just wasn't getting the attention I was used to and I suddenly felt really ill. I was running round screaming that I had cancer down the phone to my press agent."

"Since then, every time I don't feel the glare of the worlds press on me, I get all the old symptoms back, I find it very difficult to control."

Jades latest cancer scare episode was caught on film in the diary room of the Big Brother house, after which Jade ran round the house screaming and crying, in an intensely private moment.

After 14 cancer scares Jade is worried that the constant excitement may be seriously affecting her health and says doctors have warned her that "another cancer scare may finish her off."

Jade has recently been diagnosed with a rare form of attention-seeking cancer known as cervical hysteria.

Jade commented,"oh shit!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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