Aging sparrow-legged, "Strictly Come Dancing" presenter, Bruce Forsyth has shocked the entertainment world by announcing plans to be cryogenically frozen on his 90th birthday and defrosted 50 years later.
The multi-millionaire, who is considerably older than his wife, explained that he had given up hope of receiving a knighthood in his lifetime and hoped that being defrosted in the year 2068 would increase his chances.
"Of course I've always been grateful for every honour bestowed on me by Her Majesty" he growled, "but when you think how long ago wankers like Wogan and Connery got tapped on the shoulder it really gets on my tits".
Even more shockingly, England's answer to Sammy Davis Jnr has hinted that he might consider undergoing the freezing process, made famous in the film "Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery", even sooner.
"Quite frankly, if there's any chance of Jimmy Tarbuck being a Sir before me, I'd rather jump in the fast freeze today". Forsyth's lovely wife Wilnelia, a former Miss World who is considerably younger than him, said "Another advantage of freezing Bruce would be that when he was defrosted he would actually be younger than Vernon Kay. That would mean a lot to him"
