Written by Steddyeddy

Wednesday, 23 July 2008

image for Abu "Hook" Hamza's simple request causes mayhem
Abu Hamza's original hook, currently at £3 on ebay with a day to go

Abu Hamza, whose real name is Mustapha Kamel Mustapha, a much funnier name than the one we know and love him for, caused uproar and consternation amongst his supporters and staff at Belmarsh jail on his first ever day of real work since he came to the UK.

Hamza had been put in charge of the library book trolley, together with 7 fellow-inmates who follow his crazy brand of religion and look up to him, mainly because he is taller than they are.

However, upon reaching the upper floor of the prison, his book trolley got stuck, and no amount of pushing or shoving would move it.

Wing warden Brian McBrain takes up the story:

"With the trolley refusing to budge, Hook screamed to his followers "Come on guys, give us a hand with this".

"While the other inmates behind bars, in keeping with the tone of his request for a hand, politely clapped, his followers immediately produced knives and each proceeded to cut one of their hands off and threw them at Hook.

"There was blood and there were hands everywhere!" Brian concluded.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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