London - A clerk for the Old Bottleman in Camden Market recently tricked a blind man to shit in public on a busy Saturday afternoon.
The clerk, Elmer Barnsley 22, reported to be short tempered and ill-mannered by disposition, is unrepentant for his callous behavior.
"We're a bloody bottle shop not a public latrine. I help the tourists as best I can but he wouldn't piss-off no matter how I tried."
"Once he started waving his white cane about I could see it was either him or me bottles so that when me brain kicked in."
I made up some directions just to get rid of him; "forty paces straight ahead till you hit a wall, turn left twenty paces till you hit a door and there you are . . . you can clear your head, free public toilets."
"After that I just reacted. In a flash I grab a loose piece of plywood shelving and run ahead of him just in time to redirect him left twenty paces. Then I run ahead again and hold up the plywood like it's a washroom door. The blind man opens the door to the pretend shitter while I rotate the plywood slick as can be . . . I stuck me finger out and he hung his coat on it."
"Next thing you know he drops his knickers dead in the middle of Chalk Farm Road and drops a load the size of a blood pudding."
