Wacky African dictator Sir Robert Mugabe is to lose his title along with the associated privileges. It is understood he stands to lose over 1,000 nectar points in the controversial move.
The knighthood was given to him by former prime minister John Major in 1994 for assisting him in covering up his affair with Edwina Currie. It is thought Mr Major would use the phrase 'A night with Mugabe' as an alibi to his trusting wife Norma.
Mr Mugabe is upset with the latest turn of events. "I was going to buy a deep fat fryer at Argos with those Nectar points, now I will just have to go without. I also enjoyed the free subscription to Private Eye and the asian hookers but I guess all that goes too. John Major tried to put in a good word for me but he is too busy selling cluster bombs to the Middle East these days." said Mr Mugabe today.
Sir Cliff Richard was unavailable for comment.