In an almost futile attempt to inject some life back into the tired Big Brother franchise Channel 4 have announced that BB9 contestants will face the additional challenge of fighting off hungry grizzly bears in the Diary Room.
"We haven't fed them for a couple of weeks.' said a Big Brother spokesman. 'They are getting a bit tetchy. The diary room is strong enough to hold them but I doubt a 19 year old blonde wannabe would stand much of a chance against two of them. Viewing figures will be tremendous.'
Channel 4 denied the move is a sensationalist attempt at generating controversy. They claim the series already has enough points of interest without them having to manufacture drama. "We have our paint drying challenge in week one which is sure to be a ratings hit. We might not have to send in the bears til week three at least. If we do it will be done sensitively and tastefully. We will only show small snippets of contestants being ripped limb from limb in a blood-crazed feeding frenzy and then only after we have issued a viewer advisory warning."
Ever pregnant Davina McCall was unavailable for comment as she is currently hiding her shampooed head in shame at having to trot out another bunch of presenting cliches over a whole dismal summer.
