Damian D'Omen, a photgrapher and professinal train spotter from Bradford has discovered what is potentially the first ever real use for 'super'models.
'Super'models - in essence a stupid tabloid invention to describe ordinary models with a very bad and anti-social attitude - have up to now had no real use whatsoever, except to part the fashion-unconscious designer victims from their money.
Damian takes up the story.
"These supermodels belong to the human sub-species "Miserabelis Moneybitchus". In the decade since their invention, they have been of no use whatsever, except for clinical trials of either eating disorder or Class A drugs.
"By and large, they tend to be miserable, humourless, illiterate, overpaid and undertalented items, nearly all of whom walk like they have the London Symphony Orchestra brass section stuck up their rears. Ok, some have nice legs, and there maybe the odd nice breast or two, but then so does an Ikea "Smrg" dining table - have nice legs that is.
"In a particular example, the Campbell of the species is known to be particularly offensive, especially to air cabin crew, and the Moss species has a really common face and string of coffin-chasing boyfriends, the latest of whom is a chap called Jimmy Coqueupthenose.
"I have discovered, however, that if you are a train spotter, six of these models tied together make a really great windbreak."
