Today the Chancellor of the Exchequer, Alastair Darling, had a tragically bad day with two bottles of hair dye.
Forgetting that people's hair and eyebrows are usually the same colour, Mr. Darling absent-mindedly used white dye on his hair, but jet black dye on his eyebrows. This makes him look like a skunk that's visited Nicky Clark's hair salon too often, or a toy badger imported from a cheap Korean factory.
Said the Chancellor: 'OK, OK, stop laughing, I was so busy fleecing the country that I forgot to only use one bottle. Now I'm more like a zebra crossing than anything else.'
Former boss Tony Blair had this to say about the dreadful hair situation: 'Well, er, at least my hair is all sort of, um, reddish brown. Alistair's makes me think of a cartoon killer whale, or even of Michael Jackson.'
Many are suggesting that Mr. Darling's hair is almost as ridiculous as Tony Prescott's massively gross bulimic stomach, but others are suggesting that the Chancellor would look more sensible in the House of Commons dressed up as a clown.
David Cameron had fallen asleep hours ago.
