Last train to Clarksville, Essex

Written by Norton Folgate

Thursday, 1 May 2008

image for Last train to Clarksville, Essex

Train companies were warned as to the problems faced by passengers traveling home on Thursday and Friday evenings when city workers traditionally have a few beers in readiness for the weekend. Trains leaving Liverpool St on these nights after 10.30pm are traditionally referred to as the 'Vomit Comet'.

One passenger said 'it's the same commuters every Friday night, drunken lads chatting up girls, exchanging mobile numbers whilst the smell of big Mac and fries is over powering.

In some cases, passengers have even opted to walk from London to Essex, in some cases, as far away as Southend.

Rail networks have also defended their poor performance figures it was revealed today. With a number of networks falling below a 70% satisfaction level, bosses have hit back to defend their poor showing and results.

Len Reed, spokesperson for One Railways said 'his trains were not late but that passengers were early which simply escalated the problem'.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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