Terminal 5 Luggage Sale Starts Tomorrow

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 1 April 2008

image for Terminal 5 Luggage Sale Starts Tomorrow
Lot 427: A brown satchel with leather handle and two front buckle straps

Terminal 5, the new £4.3billion state-of-the-art facility at Heathrow Airport, that was shut down earlier this week when it transpired that its checking-in system didn't work, is to hold a sale of all unclaimed baggage, starting tomorrow at 10am.

Thus far, 28,000 pieces of baggage have been stockpiled at the terminal, some of them on the runway, and Heathrow bosses say that any of them unclaimed by 7pm this evening will be entered into the sale tomorrow.

Millions of passengers who turned up at the airport last week for the opening of T5 have had to fly to their destinations without their luggage, and have little hope of recovering it before it is flogged on to vultures.

One unlucky traveller, Ernest Fother-Smythes, who flew to Barbados for a late winter break, said from poolside:

"It was a right old bother! I had to buy a new pair of trunks, and an Armani bikini for the wife. Shame on BA!"

Others have been horrified to learn that their suitcases and belongings are to be auctioned off, and have contacted their travel agents to seek advice.

Many people back home though, are looking forward to the Shock Sale. Local resident Sonya Pratt, 19, who lives with her parents near the airport, said:

"I might 'ave a browse around. We're goin' to Lloret in July, and I need one o' them big cases on wheels for all me make up."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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