Scots Painter downs tools

Funny story written by IN SEINE

Wednesday, 20 February 2008

image for Scots Painter downs tools
Paint to run out in 2012

When artist Jock McMonet of Dunfermline began painting, he thought he would have a job for life. The forty two year-old got a job as soon as he left school and what is more he didn't even have any GCSE qualification in art.

More unusually he paints outdoors and in all weathers. His present commission will cease in four years time and he will have to find a new project to work upon.

McMonet told In Seine News;

"Och! I just love painting and tae get paid for it, is a bonus! There are 2 difficult bits though; 1] I have to wear ear defenders sometimes because the earth beneath my feet begins to rumble and I know that an ear-spitting noise will soon follow; 2] I often run oot of paint and have tae walk miles tae get some more! This can be several times a day"

His employer Rory McDougal of Scottish Rail said;

"Jock has been an exemplary employee and we shall be sad to have to let him go aftae all this time. You see he has been painting the Forth Rail Bridge or the past 25 years and when he finishes, we intend hiring a helicopter so he can sit back and admire his work and also see if he has missed a bit. Our records show that he has used over 3,287 paintbrushes so far."

Work is due to start on the fifth bridge in 2013

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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