Prince Harry, the illegitimate product of a liaison between the late beloved Princess Diana and scoundrel James Screwitt has been severely reprimanded and banned from leave for three months by Lieutenant Peregrine Cholmondly-Smythe who is in charge of his Regiment, The Queens Fusiliers.
Ever since the powers that be refused his posting to Afghanistan, Harry who believes in working hard and playing even harder has been sewing his wild oats and getting completely rat arsed every weekend at several Night Clubs in Chelsea.
Lieutenant Cholmondly-Smythe a stickler for discipline has come down hard on Harry, due to his no-show every Monday morning.
Harry, who was recently favoured by the Queen as her successor, due to Her Majesty loosing faith in Prince Charles, who she believes like the rest of the Country has completely lost the plot, and Prince Scrounger Andrew, who jets around the World free of charge, while shagging everything that wears a skirt.
Chelsy Davy, Harry's long time regular girl friend hopes to be reunited with the Prince in about four months time, on the completion of her course at Leeds University.
Long live the King.
