John McCain told a cheering crowd of his faithful that the Middle East is ripe for liberation from terrorists who would deprive America of our God-given oil.
"Oil Wills It!" he muttered over an open microphone.
"A hundred years in the Middle East would be fine," he explained. "They have been fighting among themselves for over a thousand years. So 100 year, 20,000 American lives and $120 Trillion dollars is not that much more.
"Deluded Iraqis may think we are there for their oil, but what could be farther from the truth? Some day, they will thank us for making them pass an Oil Law opening their fields to multinational corporations."
"Meanwhile," McCain proclaimed to the cheering crowd of arms makers, "The war lets us funnel American taxpayer dollars to you patriotic Americans who gave money to politicians."
Due to FCC restriction on profanity, no actual veteran of the Iraq war was able to offer comment.
