Buckingham Palace - (Ominous Mess): Panic has erupted in the ermine-lined corridors of power at Buck House as The Puppet Monarch's confident prediction of an England Rugby World Cup triumph bit the dust late last night.
Despite a huge damage limitation exercise the most conservative estimates of Palace losses on World Cup betting now exceed the entire bankruptcy bill for the Enron fiasco.
"She put up the entire 2007 - 2012 Civil List dosh at 3/1 on the Tote for an England win," the Lord Chamberlain Lord Luce-Cannon sobbed to a source this morning.
"How the f##k we're now going to pay the staff wages, the food bill and all the other stuff is beyond me frankly," Luce-Cannon blubbed piteously.
With no latter-day Marshall Plan to punt on a new royal wedding money-spinner, impending drastic action may have been triggered.
Now as the sun's transit of Libra - the sign of Justice - slowly ebbs away, astonishing rumors of a massive sting op echo in Hellfire Club worm-holes such as the Ministry of Defence.
"Expect this year's solar ingress into Scorpio around the 23rd/24th to be the defining point of this pointless Puppet Monarchy," spooky sources hinted.
"We'll give this nation what it wants: a public cremation on a Guy Fawkes bonfire pyre.
"Should suit republicans and monarchists alike."
