Winston Churchill Threatens Tony Blair

Funny story written by Chuck Terzella

Monday, 22 March 2004

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Winnie: Gunning For Blair?

Sir Winston Churchill and President Franklin Delano Roosevelt, two of this centuries greatest wartime leaders have come back from the grave to condemn both Prime Minister Tony Blair and President George W. Bush for their actions in Iraq, both before and after the war. Sir Winston was quoted as saying, "Never in the history of mankind have so many been buggered so much by so few. We have been buggered on the beaches, we have been buggered in the hills, we have been buggered in the streets. One day President Roosevelt told me he was asking publicly for suggestions about what the war should be called. I said at once, ‘The unnecessary war."

President Roosevelt said, " January 20, 2001, is a day that will live infamy, the day George W. Bush was inaugurated. Vote him out of office."

Off the record Sir Winston called Mr. Blair, " A hopeless git who has leeched himself to a fool. I think I'm going to kill him."

President Roosevelt, also speaking off the record said, "That little shit better not be messing with any of my stuff that I left in the White House. How can anyone that stupid become president? No strategy when it comes to war, no sense when it comes to economics, no compassion when it comes to job losses. And I thought Truman was an idiot."

President Roosevelt, nearly rotted to a complete skeleton but looking very lively despite that said he believed that the free world was tottering on the brink of collapse and four more years of Bush policies would cause it to descend into anarchy. Sir Winston, looking amazingly untouched by forty some odd years in the coffin, an oddity that was attributed his fondness for brandy, was more sanguine about Mr. Blair however, rightly assuming that he would attach himself unswervingly to whoever was the next American President as he had with both Bill Clinton and George Bush. " After all, bin Laden could become the next U.S. president and Blair would probably brown nose him as well," said Sir Winston. "so as long as an sane man becomes the next leader of America we should be fine.But if that madman gets a second term, Blair is toast."

(This story was approved by Wegman (Pudgy) Waterhouse)

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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