Asians More Likely To Ride Scooters - Report

Funny story written by Mister Meaner

Wednesday, 24 October 2007

image for Asians More Likely To Ride Scooters - Report
Wear this - it's better than that bedsheet!

Asians, and particularly Indians, are more likely to be scooter riders, says a new government report out today.

The report, to investigate the effects of traffic pollution on the environment in Britain, found that 99 out of every 100 scooters on the road is ridden by at least one Asian. Some are ridden by as many as 6 people at any one time.

Another of the report's findings was that scooter riders do not normally wear head protection in the form of helmets, many choosing instead to wrap large coloured bedsheets around their bonces to alert other motorists of their presence.

These 'Urban Turbans', as they are known, manfully weave in and out of traffic on Britain's congested streets, carrying loads that realistically belong on a flat-bed truck.

One Indian man, Sidewinder Bazooka from Handsworth in Birmingham, was stopped by police whilst transporting rolls of carpet through the city. When measured, his vehicle was 18 feet wide, and stretched across three lanes of traffic.

In Bradford, 14 various Asians were arrested for travelling along the M606 near Cleckheaton, clinging to a scooter. The arresting policeman described the sound of its engine as 'a worn-out hairdryer'.

Mohit Minhas, of the Asian Scooter Riders Co-operative based in Mumbai, said:

"Scooter riding, like bathing in the Ganges, is a popular pastime in India. You see, there's not much else to do if you don't like cricket."

The report also established that there is too much traffic on Britain's roads.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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