"When will we, will we be famous" [again]

Funny story written by Kent Pete

Wednesday, 24 October 2007

image for "When will we, will we be famous" [again]
" I'll have that one" says Matt

The date 24th August 1989. The venue Wembley Arena. Thirteen thousand screaming young nubiles greeted the arrival on stage of two paroxide brothers or 'Bros' as they became known, who had, over the previous two years, dominated the British singles charts with their subtle blend of 'Bentley Blue' motown and irreverent political satire.

Who could forget their classic hit, "I owe you nothing", originally believed to be a shallow three minute piece of pop shite but now seen by many critics as a moving parody of the last few weeks of the Thatcher government. And their now legendary, "Cat Among The Pigeons", possibly the first serious attempt by modern day artists to address the complex and sensitive subject of Paedophilia in a post industrial age.

How sad then to see these two legends of British pop on life's scap heap. The Goss brothers have returned to their native Bristol and now live in a dry house on the outskirts of the city. Due to some poor business decisions they now live in poverty in one of the country's most deprived areas. Gone are the days when they could happily spend £50,000 a week on poncy clothes and hair gel. And instead of having the pick of a bevvy of busty beauties , Matt and Luke now content themselves by looking through old copies of 'Razzle' and pretending to have girlfriends.

Top music critic and one time darts champion, Paul Gambaccini told our music correspondent,

" It is so sad to see the boys now. How often are truly great artists ignored during their lifetimes only to be appreciated posthumously ?."

"To my mind 'When will I be famous' is the greatest British single of all time. It had everything. It was original, full of pathos, and at the same time was instantly accessible to a wider audience. The frustrating thing for me is that it is only now that social commentators are beginning to realise that the song was actually about the inevitability of Global warming. For years it was believed that it merely displayed the naked craving for celebrity that characterises modern pop culture. How wrong they were. For me it will always be Dylan, Morrissey, Lennon and the Goss brothers. Rock on boys "

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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