Star turn diversion for woebegon Kate?

Funny story written by Velveeta Peron

Wednesday, 19 September 2007

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All the world's a stage

In the latest sensational revelation from tireless Portuguese media, reports emerged today that Kate McCann is near closing a deal to play Roxie Hart in Chicago during an 8-week run at The Cambridge Theatre.

The Portuguese quoted unnamed West End sources who claimed: "It's really only a question of her availability. She's very pretty and certainly knows her way around a press call. In fact, she could even take over as Maria in the Sound of Music, should things turn out the right way. And there's always Wicked, if it doesn't."

Portuguese media also reported rumors, since firmly denied, that Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber is composing an entirely original new vehicle for McCann, based on her own life story.

"There is no truth to the chatter that Sir Andrew is writing a new musical called Aguida."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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