Portimao, Portugal - (ReUterus & Ass Mess): Sources close to the police investigation into little Maddie's disappearance have said that DNA evidence points to the four year old's mother being Lord Levy's natural daughter.
"We always suspected something New Labour about the PR circus that suddenly swept the Algarve when the child first disappeared," local press sources said today.
"And now we think we've hit the jackpot!
"Who else could have mounted such a stunning spectacle and set the story agenda if not the old Downing Street Machine Infernale?
Meanwhile speculation is rife among Portuguese conspiracy theory pundits about the identity of Kate McCann's birth mother.
Top of the list is a cold-war era female KGB sleeper/agent who rose to fame by helping former UK Prime Monster Margaret Thatcher and Westminster Council's Dame Shurley Porter pull off the gerrymandering Homes for Votes scam.
"She's a bastion of the establishment today, a pillar of society," the Algarve Conspiracy Peddler said today.
"And looking at her you'd think that butter wouldn't melt in her arse.
"But we know better and now the Portimao Prosecutor's Department has the DNA the foul business will soon hit the headlines!"