Written by Rodders

Monday, 13 August 2007

image for Explosive Gases Used To Combat Smokers
Smokers told to put it out or go up in flames

The government has announced new legislation to combat people ignoring the ban on smoking in public places.

Under the new proposals flammable non-toxic gases will be pumped into the atmosphere of pubs and restaurants, meaning the second that a smoker sparks up, the whole place would go up in a fireball.

Home Office spokesman Helen Trent told us, "We're simply trying to provide the right incentives to smokers and also to the publicans whose duty it is ensure that their customers may eat and drink in a smoke-free zone. The Conservatives have described it as excessive of course, but in light of recent developments we have no choice."

It has been an uphill struggle for the government in enforcing the smoking ban. Until recently local council workers had been sent into pubs and restaurants to photograph offending smokers, but a judge recently ruled that such evidence was inadmissible because his son had shown him how such photographs could be "computerarilly photoshopped".

But the new proposals are welcomed by many non-smokers. "I think it's a wonderful idea," said June Finch, 57, of Camberley. "If it meant I could enjoy a nice meal without smelling rancid cigarette smoke then I for one would be more than willing to risk horrific burns."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Smoking, Smoking Ban

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