In 1804, or whenever the hell it was, Ted Turner had his way with Hollywood – and she didn’t even see it coming! He took a lot of old black and white movies and grabbed a box of crayons and started colouring in the lines. This angered many peop…
$50,000 Fine. Please pay immediatelyVolcanoes in New Zealand have been grumbling at the Government’s constant annual walloping of smokers of raising prices by 10% every year. Volcanoes consider themselves original inhabitants of New Zealand, and have...
British MPs have voted to introduce plain packaging to all cigarettes sold in the UK by 2016, in an attempt to cut down on font addiction. "It's a growing problem," said one typographer. "Thanks to the internet, it's easier than ever for kids to g...
CIA HQ reporting from a dilapidated council flat in downtown Moss Side, Manchester - Newsflash: Smoking in cars to be banned in England! CIA health reporter, Ciggy Tarlung-Woodbine, has sent this report from the back of a Ford Cortina with a smokey past parked up in Moss Side, a no-go-smoke-free-zone The ministry of health has decided to ban smoking in cars in England from October 2015, they...
From medical professionals to friends and family, armed with a stockpile of statistics, smokers are increasingly bombarded with unsolicited advice to stop smoking. And on top of that we have a plethora of new laws prohibiting smoking in public places, private places, and places where no one could breathe anyway but are deemed areas too dangerous for the release of second-hand smoke. So, to even...
The sale of F cigarettes which are the proven effective way to give up E cigarette has gone viral with over one billion units sold worldwide. Many people have become too fond of E cigarettes which helped people to give up cigarettes. A spokesperso...
WASHINGTON, D.C.-The Federal Aviation Administration announced this afternoon that passengers aboard all hijacked commercial airlines would be allowed to smoke during those flights. "We realize that nothing calms down a smoker, like lighting one up,"...
Some enterprising pub landlords have, since the smoking ban, been employing smokers to stand outside their pub. "It's a good second income," said Sue Perkins, who has been standing outside the Red Lion in Stockport for the past two years. "You get...
Streets outside offices will soon become much more noisy if the anti-smoking lobby get their latest suggestion passed into law. "What we want to do," said Ashley Holden, "is to have smokers warn healthy people who happen to be walking near by. Our...
With the success of the smoking ban in reducing the amount of smoking in the UK, moves are now afoot to tackle the British Booze problem in the same way. "Booze is far more dangerous than any other drug on the planet," said Temperance Camper, co-o...
A national newspaper has created a furore by offering a free cigar for all readers. The Express Daily celebrated it's 'Churchill week' by declaring 'now you can look like the great man with the cut out and keep bald head plus free cigar'. Steve...
AUSTIN - The state of Texas is experiencing the worst drought in fifty years as hundreds of windswept wildfires have burned a total of 3.7 million acres. Governor Rick Perry has taken time out from the GOP presidential campaigning to return to Aus...
The UK Government is set to introduce the most stringent anti-smoking rules in Europe. "Now that we have banned smoking inside public places we have seen an increase in the number of people stood around outside public places," said government Heal...
Michael Bloomberg, The King of New York, has warned city smokers they should expect to be "shot to death, soon." The former Republican, Democrat, Independant & Life Time Twat is ready to impose greater restrictions on smokers after "thinking h...
Government ministers have today announced that the act of smoking cigarettes is to be classified as an extreme sport. The continued popularity of the lethal hobby in the face of overwhelming, some might say 'blasé', scientific evidence that it causes...
Every City, U.S.A. - Up until the eighties it was the glory days for smokers. Ash trays on every desk, ash trays outside of elevators, doctors walking through hospitals smoking, planes, trains, buses...it was a thing of beauty. However, nothing t...
TARLBORO COUNTRY, U.S.A. - Just how harmful is secondhand smoke? This has been one of the most lop-sided public health debates of the early 21st century, but a new study suggests that passing laws to curb secondhand smoke can yield a big payoff - a d...
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