Written by queen mudder

Wednesday, 18 July 2007

image for Homer Simpson fertility god effigy is omen say Pagans
The Homer Simpson effigy is an omen of impending disaster say Wiccans

Cerne Abbas, Wiltshire - (ReUterus & Ass Mess): Whoever daubed a Homer Simpson fertility god effigy next to the UK's most sacred Wiccan symbol, the Cerne Abbas Giant, may have evoked a terrible ancient curse according to local Wiltshire Pagans who are dismayed at the desecration.

"It bodes ill for Prince Charles's 60th birthday party for Camilla at Highgrove House this Saturday, whose location is geophysically aligned at 33 degrees east from the Wiltshire site and on an astrological faultline of seismic proportions," a World Wiccan Council source commented today.

The 180ft chalk figure of the chidlren's cartoon character has been painted next to the famous Wiltshire field etching depicting an Orion-like male with a twenty five foot penis and ten foot diameter balls.

Yet Simpson is shown as dressed in his Y-fronts and wielding a donut "a challenging pose which threatens the Pretender's position as the Puppet Monarchy's Chosen One".

So is this a sign of impending disaster, that the ageing icons of the Bush Family Evil Empire are about to fall from grace after a massive public embarassment?

Internet spread-betting bookmakers Aintgottaprayer.com says a flurry of activity has seen over five million dollars so far bet on this Saturday 21 July being the apocalyptic Day of Judgement foretold countless times across the world.

"This could be a major blow to bigtime fraudsters like JK Rowling who launches the seventh Harry Potter that she stole lock stock and barrel from its rightful author," spread-betting sources admitted.

And Charles and Camilla's evening bash not far from the Witlshire desecration of the Cerne Abbas Giant?

"We're offering 5/4 fav that Saturday 21st is their day of reckoning too,"the bookmaker confirmed.

"And don't forget that daftass Lord Levy. Straight in the slammer with him too as far as we can see.

"Anybody else fancy a flutter on this one?"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Wicca, homer simpson

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