One of the world's most famous DJs has taken a break from Ibiza clubbing to play a gig in a small Scottish town.
Ministry of Sound regular Judge Jules played a set at the Tullibody Working Men's Club on Friday.
Regulars at the club, most of whom are over 65, were said to be "knocked out" by the strong beats and the sheer volume of the music.
"Too f*cking loud," said club regular Elsie "disco" Stewart, "I were sat right at the back, an' me hearing aid were buzzing. He didn't play anything we knew, neither. There were no Queen, no AC/DC, and no 60s either. What a load of shite. Call himself a DJ?"
The steward at the club defended the decision to bring Jules to the club.
"We thought we needed a bit of a change, as Jimmy Western And The Slim Pickers didn't go down too well last Saturday, in fact we paid them off after the first set, they were that bad. The Judge did a great set, in between three houses of bingo and the meat raffle. Some of the records I hadn't heard of, but my 14-year-old said it was "well 'ard" so that's all right then. The cleaners weren't too happy with all that foam on the dance floor though. Had to pay them a bit extra. We're thinking of making it a regular thing, and we've even got some feelers out to get a couple of bands on in future. I did hear that we could get someone called U2 very cheap, but you'll have to watch the club notice board for that one."