Written by queen mudder

Wednesday, 6 June 2007

image for Capitol Hill uproar at Jefferson's corruption charges
With special thanks for this pic to Juneau's reporter in situ Gnarly Eric

Washington DC - (Ass Mess): Latest Corrupt Bastards Club recruit Representative William Jefferson has caused a furor to break out on Capitol Hill after being indicted with 16 federal charges of bribery involving businessmen and foreign officials.

Fellow Democrats were unanimous that Jefferson should step down straight away from his post given the gravity of the charges which have an eerie echo of the current VECO corruption and bribery indictments in the State of Alaska.

And in a new twist to the fast-moving scandal the US press reported today that "The House voted 373-26 in favor of lynching an investigative panel of the ethics committee" to decide if Jefferson was guilty of besmirching any professional codes of conduct.

Jefferson has been charged with bribery, obstruction of justice, wire fraud, money laundering and racketeering.

A member of the Alaskan Corrupt Bastards Club said today that the nine-term representative was clearly of the right caliber to be honored by the organisation as a senior member having shown pluck of the highest order in the gravity of indictments he faces.

"A job on the Alaskan State Legislature will always be open to him should he decide to move up here," a VECO source confirmed today.

Jefferson is indicted on receiving over $500,000 in bribes and seeking millions more in separate enrichment scams by using his office to broker business deals in Africa.

Feds found more than $90,000 stuffed in Jefferson's freezer which the acccused claimed was 'Chicken McNuggets' when asked to explain the packets.

He faces a maximum sentence of 235 years - "something that the Corrupt Bastards Club acknowledges as making him of prime material for our organization's upper echelons of achievement".

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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