London - (Ass mess): An undercover UK secret agent codenamed Agent Provocateur has rejected an MBE from Old Fatty Mountbatten on conscience grounds after telling MI6 head Jonathan Evans that Tony Blair is morally corrupt and
the Puppet Monarchy is an illegitimate laughing stock.
The high ranking spook issued a statement today saying:
"I don't want to be associated with a freak who flogs honors for cash.
"He's covered his arse with so many lies it's brought Britain down to her knees.
"As for Salman Rushdie getting a knighthood, the very thought makes me puke.
"You can expect a lot more gongs getting sent back.
"Hope the cops screw him over the day he leaves Downing Street!"