Britain's fist Muslim peer, Labour's Lord Ahmed, has today offered to knight Salman Rushdie at Buckingham Palace himself.
The gracious peer said that he felt reports which claimed he was appalled at the decision to knight Rushdie were greatly exaggerated.
"It is true that he could be perceived as having provoked and insulted Muslims and Christians over the whole world, but I am very happy at the knighthood decision and have asked the Queen if I can place the honour myself by way of showing my solidarity with the great man."
However Pakistani religious Affairs Minister Mohammed Ijaz ul Haq told the country's parliament that he felt that the decision to knight Rushdie was, "the single most stupid, ignorant and hare-brained idea that had ever been whispered in the Queen's ear by the most incompetent aides in the incompetent history of a small town called incompetent in incompetent-world."
Lord Ahmed added,"that stupidity is exactly what I am counting on. Now where did I put that sword?"
