London - (Ass Mess): Just three days before his official 25th birthday Prince William is poised to claim a £500,000 annual income from funds left to him by the late Princess Diana.
But the UK Serious Fraud Office has said that in their opinion pigs can fly because the young heir apparent to the Pretender to the throne is not only not the son of Charles and Diana but is the hired double spawned by George W Bush and Heather Mills in a satanic coupling devised by Hellfire Club grandees in the Thatcher Cabinet of 1979-1983.
The will left by Diana stipulated that her estate should pass down to Wills and Harry and they should benefit from the interest from investments until they became 30.
However the old Hellfire slapper signed a pre-nupt that stipulated she would never been Queen and that any funds or assets accrued during her thespian public roles as the Princess of Wales would revert to the Monarch on her eventual demise.
Enter shyster lawyer Fiona Shackleton, solicitor to Charles, Pretender to the Throne who acted for him during his 'divorce' despite the fact his marriage was entirely bigamous and he already had a wife and three brats in PyongYang, North Korea by a cousin of the former King Fahd of Saudi Arabia.
Diana's own solicitor was then ordered by MI5 head Stella Rimington to go through the motions and devise a divorce settlement that would benefit the two cuckoo implants who from a very young age were inserted into Kensington Palace to take over the persona and IDs of the young 'princes' after Charles shot them both dead during a cocaine-induced seizure.
This Thursday 21 June would have been the young William's 25th birthday. His body however has been pushing up daisies at the back of Kensington Palace garden after butler Paul Burrell buried him and little Harry on Diana's orders.
"Any attempt for the Bushling to claim the disputed £500,000 annual income from the fraudulent Diana legacy will be resisted with vigor," a SFO source promised today.