London - (Ass Mess): The Cutty Sark arson may have been an inside job according to police probing the ship's destruction.
A recent decision to strip the clipper's hull of her spinkler system and smoke detectors ensured the vessel would be uninsured in the event of a 'hazard'.
"Was somebody paid to ensure that happened?" was the investigators' question today as they followed up leads from Juneau, Alaska where last week the Corrupt Bastards Club failed to scuttle the Empress of the North for the insurance money, possibly sparking a revenge attack on the very first vessel which in the 19th century spied on fledgeling CBC members and their evil machinations.
Loss adjustors have visited the wreck in Greenwich dry dock and estimated the repair costs at around £40 million.
"It might be cheaper to rebuild a replica using partly-saved timbers that were in storage during the attack," said a spokesman.
And the charred remains?
"Buckingham Palace is planning a garden party barbecue fundraiser for the vesssel," the spokesman continued.
"There's enough charcoal there to barbie-up fifty thousand spare ribs, chicken wings, rump steaks, assorted lamb burgers and corn on the cobs.
"We seriously recommend they think this through carefully."