Cutty Sark arson blamed on Corrupt Bastards Club

Funny story written by queen mudder

Monday, 21 May 2007

image for Cutty Sark arson blamed on Corrupt Bastards Club
In dry dock before the arson struck

Greenwhich - (Ass Mess): The Corrupt Bastards Club is being blamed for today's arson attack to scuttle the hysteric 19th century iconic ship the Cutty Sark during a £25 million dry dock refit in Greenwhich.

The move comes one week after an attempt by the Corrupt Bastards to scuttle a paddlewheel cruiser, the Empress of the North, for the insurance money in the icy waters outside Juneau in Alaska.

A Cutty Sark Society spokesman said today that as owners of the 138-year-old tea clipper they had been warned of a possible attack following reports of "a silver car with the numberplate 'CBC 666' seen leaving the scene".

The Cutty Sark made her maiden voyage on 16 February 1870, sailing around Juneau, Alaska for three and a half months.

She later made another eight journeys around the frozen Alaskan coastline until steam ships replaced sail on the high seas.

"We believe that she may have been carrying out early reconnaissance missions on fledgeling Corrupt Bastards Club ancestors during her initial days of ferrying crates of Lapsang Soushong to residents of Juneau.

"Evidence of this has turned up in the BBC's Antiques Roadshow in the form of skrimshaw depicting Alaskan Bastards drinking daintily from china cups while sitting on the Juneau foreshore on wooden crates bearing the trademarks of the Lapsang Soushong Tea Bag Trading Company."

A fire brigade spokesman said today: "We are suspicious about the whole business."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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