In a bizarre accident, Prince Harry has chopped his left hand off with an axe.
A close aide to Prince Harry reports "He was chopping some firewood for the Queen at Sandringham, when he was distracted by a bird flapping 75 feet away".
Prince Charles is said to be furious, and has demanded that the bird (thought to be a pigeon, or 'flying rat') be shot at once, and it's blood smeared on nearby trees as a warning to other potential feathered distractions.
Harry is said to be 'not that bothered' about losing his hand, and is more upset that a planned trip to a war-torn country may be indefinitely postponed.
The Queen was unavailable for comment.