Beanz Meanz Finez

Funny story written by queen mudder

Thursday, 26 April 2007

image for Beanz Meanz Finez
Two weeks in a canning factory as a community service sentence would be pretty gruelling

London - (Ass Mess): In a classic Naomi Campbell moment of unsurpassing cretinous idiocy droopy-faced and be-botoxed Brit movie actor Hugh Grant took out his anger on a pap yesterday by throwing the nearest heavy projectile to hand, a 50p can of McTossers Beanz.

But the canny photographer summoned the law and Grant has ended up arrested on suspicion of assault, made bail and ordered to court to explain his outburst.

If convicted as charged he faces a possible custodial sentence, a fine or both.

Alternatively an imaginative magistrate could order him, like Campbell in New York last month, to a community service order such as sweeping the streets, collecting trash or a similar humble task in public.

The alternative, of course, is pretty grim, such as having to sit through a compulsory non-stop compilation of all his excreable movies for 48 hours without a break.

"I think we'd advise him to take a lowly janitorial sentence for a couple of weeks if convicted, rather than do himself irreparable damage by watching reruns of all his tacky past films," a lawyer said today.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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