Blackpool "To be floated out to sea"

Funny story written by Double Diamond

Monday, 23 April 2007

image for Blackpool "To be floated out to sea"
Blackpool: Grothole

The government have announced that the popular northern seaside resort of Blackpool is to be chipped away from the coastline of West Lancashire and floated out to sea.

The recent loss of the contract to build a "Super casino" was the last nail in the coffin, and nearby neighbours Lytham St Annes and Southport have complained about the large numbers of riff-raff attracted to the resort.

Therefore Blackpool will become an island, much like Manhattan in New York. Indeed, in an ironic twist, government officials have announced that future plans for Blackpool include an offshore prison.

This heralds comparisons to Kurt Russells popular thriller "Escape from New York". Indeed Hollywood producers are in talks for the screen rights to film "Escape from Blackpool". (Which many current residents have been trying to do for years anyway)

Safety campaigners have complained that floating such a large conurbation into the Irish sea may threaten shipping lanes, however assurances have been made, that Blackpool Tower will be used as a beacon to warn ships.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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