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Funny story: Ross Kemp Stripped Of Bonny Baby Title After 54 Years...

Ross Kemp Stripped Of Bonny Baby Title After 54 Years...

Ex-SAS Man-turned-actor, Ross Kemp, has been stripped of the title that was pinned with honour on the CV that eventually won him his first role in EASTENDERS. The shamed actor with the petted lip is said to be devastated at the news. It's not t…

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Funny story: Blackpool Pleasure Beach To Embrace Prostitution

Blackpool Pleasure Beach To Embrace Prostitution

There was great excitement in the British holiday industry yesterday, when it was announced that, from next year, one of the English Tourist Board's most vaunted attractions, Blackpool Pleasure Beach, will change its focus a little. The Pleasure B…

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Funny story: Jobless father who blew benefits on sausage rolls banned from every Greggs bakery on 13-mile stretch of coast

Jobless father who blew benefits on sausage rolls banned from every Greggs bakery on 13-mile stretch of coast

A feckless father has been banned from every single Greggs along an entire 13 mile stretch of coastland after going on a six year sausage roll addiction funded by state handouts. Jobless Mervin Gardener, 25, terrorised police, supermarket security...

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Funny story: People weigh less in Blackpool after Fracking test

People weigh less in Blackpool after Fracking test

The Iconic Blackpool Tower, the symbol of release for the Working Man, is two inches taller today after a Fracking experiment just outside Blackpool. "We think that some of the gravity in Blackpool has leaked out," said Guy Gordon, an anti-frackin...

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Funny story: Blackpool erect customs points

Blackpool erect customs points

Blackpool, the ageless seaside town, has erected customs booths on all the roads into the town. "There are three major routes into the town," said Blackpool Community Chairperson, Tony Blackburn. "At each of these points, we are putting booths to...

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Funny story: Cross dressers' hotel saved from closure by The Hotel Inspector

Cross dressers' hotel saved from closure by The Hotel Inspector

Spangles Hotel in Blackpool has been saved from closure by Channel 5's The Hotel Inspector, when only five people visited in the first year of operation. "We thought that there was a market for a cross dressing friendly hotel," said proprietor, an...

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Funny story: Whale gas could heat homes in two years

Whale gas could heat homes in two years

Britain's poorest homes could be using whale gas extracted by brave fisherman within two years. The technique, which has been blamed for causing minor tsunami, earthquakes and blow-backs around Blackpool, remains controversial. The biggest whal...

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Funny story: Residents Getting Fracked Off

Residents Getting Fracked Off

Shale gas extraction through fracking has caused a lot of concern for residents in areas where drilling for shale gas has been given the go-ahead. Freckleton, a village on The Fylde near Preston in Lancashire has been the latest victim of Cuadrill...

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Funny story: Who stole Blackpool tower?

Who stole Blackpool tower?

Liverpool, UK. In emerging news here, authorities have awoken this foggy morning to discover that the famous Blackpool Tower, designed in the form of Paris' Eiffel Tower, has been stolen and cannot be located. Police are amazed that such a massive...

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Funny story: Cups and Rubbers - Lytham Pen Thief strikes again

Cups and Rubbers - Lytham Pen Thief strikes again

Police had hoped that the Pen Thief of Lytham St Annes had gone quiet, with no activity on the pen front in several years; however, it now looks like he has started again, this time on memorial mugs and erasers. "Several years ago," said Jenn Darm...

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Funny story: Higgs Boson Not Quite As Reported

Higgs Boson Not Quite As Reported

Physicists recently made headlines by announcing their discovery of the Higgs boson-the long sought-after, so-called "God Particle." The God Particle would explain pretty much everything in the universe. Or so the media report. According to reputable...

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Funny story: Blackpool wants to be in a different time zone to the rest of the UK

Blackpool wants to be in a different time zone to the rest of the UK

Blackpool, the lit up, gaudy armpit of Britain, has asked to be put on a different time zone to the rest of the UK. "We're not talking about an hour or two," said Chief of Public Interaction, Services and Scaffolding, Robert Cardigan. "We want to...

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Funny story: Blackpool not among England and Wales's clean beaches

Blackpool not among England and Wales's clean beaches

A RECORD nine out of 10 English and Welsh beaches meet new EU standards for water quality - but ­Blackpool's are not among them. The resort's central and south beaches failed to match basic cleanliness standards, as did those at Llandudno in C...

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Funny story: Major gas find under Blackpool 'is Zyklon-B' - reports

Major gas find under Blackpool 'is Zyklon-B' - reports

Lancashire - A right frickin' fracking mess has developed as energy industry midgets Wannabe Oil N Gas announced today the discovery of Europe's biggest subterranean gas field. Company's optimism that 200 trillion cubic feet of shale gas is just w...

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Funny story: Charlie Adam Set For Shock Move To Wigan - Snubs Liverpool

Charlie Adam Set For Shock Move To Wigan - Snubs Liverpool

Sources close to Blackpool playmaker and Liverpool transfer target, Charlie Adam, are indicating that the Scot will reject overtures from Anfield, and move to Wigan instead. It is thought that Wigan is closer to Adam's home and therefore a more lo...

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Funny story: Bull Elephant Stranded On Blackpool Beach

Bull Elephant Stranded On Blackpool Beach

Holidaymakers - mainly women, who tend not to cope with such events very well - at Blackpool were left in a state of shock yesterday when an African bull elephant became stranded on the beach, having been washed up by the incoming tide. Most men p...

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Funny story: Bankers fear Battersea Power Station is sinking

Bankers fear Battersea Power Station is sinking

London - A bloody great big hole has appeared in the Battersea business plan sinking fund. For decades cracks in the Power Station's ownership documents had been dismissed as investor paranoia. Now work on legal papers for the proposed Thames S...

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