London - (Rotters): Sri Lankan rebel Tamil Tigers are being blamed for a bank card cloning scam targetting motorists across the UK.
The rare endangered animal rights activist species have been sighted in UK hellhole pariah spots like Hull and Middlesboro where thousands of Ford Fiesta owners have been duped into paying for their fiendish foreign crack using habits each time they bought petrol by pin and chip technology.
Complaints ranging far and wide in locations such as Edinburgh, Norwich, Bury St Edmunds, Peterborough, Nottingham, Leeds, Bristol and Hull all show a grim pattern.
This has been described by Detective Inspector Paul Welton of Humberside Police as "one hell of a big scam with added Sainsbury's Reward points to boot.
"But what can we do about it? The answer is: not very much at all, because the whole scam may have been negotiated at EU level by the UK's very own European Commissioner for Trade Peter Mandelson."