Iranian President Ahmadinejad has signed a book deal with a leading publishing house in Britain worth 7 figures about the recent incident involving members of the British Navy. He has rejected criticisms that it is distasteful that he should be paid following the incident with the British servicemen and woman.
Mr. Ahmadinejad gives his own side of the story and says that he was sitting at home one day in his house under the hill, puffing on a very long pipe, when there was a knock on the door and an English serviceman suddenly appeared and demanded tea and cakes. Awkward to say no, he wandered off to his kitchen, but as he did so, there was another knock on the door, and another and another, and soon poor Mr. Ahmadinejad found that there were as many as 15 British sailors and marines, who demanded beer and started singing about dragons and lost gold.
"I made polite conversation for 2 weeks but nothing I could say would get them to leave", he complained. "I kept telling them that I didn't want any adventures, thank you, and that the Ahmadinejads are a quiet folk, and if they wanted adventures they should have visited the Husseins in next-door Iraq. I even introduced them to some of my friends on television, to get them off my hands for a bit, but that didn't work, either. They found their way back to my house with new stories to tell. I also falsely told the female that her male friends had all left, hoping at least she would take the hint and leave. But she didn't, instead smoking her dirty tobacco all over my house and dropping ashes on my fine chinaware. Eventually, I had to go to bed so I turned off the lights. At that point, the 15 British people became very scared and left suddenly. I understand that they are all afraid of the dark and have now gone home to their own land and I hope they stay there. We don't want them back, thank you, and we certainly don't want any adventures."
When asked why he has decided to write a book about the experience, he said, "They made my house very dirty, and I had to buy them lots of food, drink, tobacco and even some new clothes. I would like some compensation and that is why I have decided to sell my story".
Producer Peter Jackson is reportedly considering making a movie out of the incident.
Editor - "The Iranians are a small, quiet folk, easily overlooked by us British".
