The ‘War on Terror' took on a more sinister aspect, yesterday, when George W Bush revealed that ‘Suicide Spammers' had kidnapped the entire world's stock of unsolicited e-mails, and were keeping them against their will, at unknown web-addresses.
Ordinary families around the world woke up to find their e-mail in-trays were empty.
City workers logged on to find that the only messages on their screens were from their bosses, urging them to do more work.
Entire departments at AOL and Microsoft were sacked, because there was not a single spam message in cyberspace for them to intercept.
A White House spokesperson revealed that they had been aware that Al-Qaida was plotting a new act of atrocity, but nothing on the scale meted out by the ‘Suicide Spammers'.
Top I.T. experts confessed that the long-term effects of a world without spam were unthinkable.
‘There will be a whole new generation of computer users who will grow up not knowing how to make their ‘wedding tackle' bigger, or how to get prescription drugs through the post,' the President confessed.
‘The Suicide Spammers have created a brave new world for us all,' Bush wept.