I am forced to issue a response to recent articles linking me with the notorious Lowton brothers in the current furore over 'Cash For Vagina's'.
I first met the Lowtons in a pub in the east end of Stoke on Trent. I had been introduced by a close friend of theirs Willis Rodney, a well known satirist and female impersonator.
I was offered various incentives to write stories that included gratuitous reference to Vaginas breasts and Michael Jackson. It was an intermediary, Monica Lewdwinky, that managed the affair. I can say will all honesty; I did not discuss sex organs with that woman. Nor did I inhale whilst she spoke.
I have had no contact with the Lowtons since then and I have never mentioned vaginas in any of my work (until now and you made me ).
In response to the assertion that my work is childlike and littered with mistakes ....na na na nah nah. I am number 2.
I view the recent articles as a slight upon my integrity and to the authors; I will sue your vaginas...ass I mean.
