Southampton, UK - (Rioters): A giant penis etched in 2005 with weedkiller on the lawn of a boys' secondary school has accidentally tripped the US Department of Homeland Insecurity's pornography surveillance filters aboard the giant Hubble telescope, causing multiple electrical failure and wholesale destruction of its cameras.
The organ was supposedly modelled on the manhood of a local alumnus of the Bellemoor school who had no other means of expressing his nascent virility during the hot and steamy summer of love in 2005.
Using half a tonne of weedkiller to draw his partial self-portrait, the young chap risked weeks of stalking by undercover terror cops who were convinced his attempt at buying the herbicide was connected to the possible erection of a home-made explosive device similar to those used by London terrorists.
But nothing more sinister occured than an etching on the lushly verdant Bellemoor lawn, which to this day can be seen on Google Earth and other aerial photography satellite devices.
The etching has since defied attempts at re-turfing and remains a proud symbol of local virility in the same way as the Ancient Man of Wilmington site some eighty miles away. Except that the latter has never proven the existence of the US Thought Police interferring with deep space imagery transmissions.
Meanwhile a NASA spokesman has admitted the porno cops may have got it badly wrong this time. "But it just goes to prove that we know what's going on wherever and whenever these pervs get up to their usual tricks."
