In a surprise move, the Prime Minister has bowed to public opinion and relaxed the ban on hunting, in order that Jade Goody and her family can be set free on Wimbleton Common and pursued by members of the public.
In the commons yesterday, he told the house that "pig faced Nazi", Jade, and her mother Jacqui would be given a 15 minute head start.
The former Celebrity Big Brother contestant has so inflamed British sensibilities with her racist comments that, for the first time, hunters have been given a special dispensation to use hollow tipped 'Dum-Dum' bullets.
Endemol, the people behind Big Brother, have already secured the rights to the 'Goodyhunt' and say that it will be a sure-fire ratings winner.
Hunting enthusiast and Sussex landowner, Sir Charles Pilkington-Smythe, told us, "I think it's a tremendous idea. Hunting is all part of countryside tradition and, now that foxes are a protected animal, we should be allowed to hunt the scum of society...criminals and thieves, perhaps even those on the dole or especially those who don't pay their television licence."
Some liberal handwringers have condemned the hunt, saying that it is unnecessarily cruel and that Jade and her mother should be dealt with humanely.
A nationwide poll, however, showed that 97% of the British public preferred to see them hunted down.
